Dust and ashes are the right environment when we have seen the living, holy, all-knowing, all-seeing, Creator of the entire Universe. Also, when we have seen our wretched selves.
I KNOW You can DO all things… … and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted! … I have uttered what I did not understand! … Now by eye sees You; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes.
When we get here in this life on this planet, we repent in dust and ashes!
The truth her speaks to how we as Christians overcome whether sin or failure or an ED and more!
I’ve been sitting, staring at this blank page for about 2 hours now.
Granted, I’ve taken a few breaks to peruse Buzzfeed, watch a Korean makeup video, and get ready for bed, but let’s face it. I’ve got writer’s block.
Which royally stinks.
So I’m going to go back to my roots here tonight. Return to why I started this blog in the first place.
Sometimes, when I think back to when I was in the throes of anorexia, it catches my breath. Thinking about all the ways I was ruled by this menacing dictator in my head: ED. Days were calculated to the minute. Choices and moments were heightened, inducing high stakes anxiety attacks. I was in the most extreme vortex of panic, all the time. About food. Exercise. Movement. Calories. Body image. Fear. Stress. Routines. Schedules. Secrecy.
I was trapped. A prisoner in my own disordered mind.
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Yes, I have had chains, maybe I do now. I have seen real chains come off people.
Don’t know what I am talking about? Read John.