What goes into the decision to believe–in Jesus as the Christ–many things. End the end, we all make a significant step of
faith or step in the opposite direction from Jesus.
Here is a quote from Sheldon Vanauken, who studied English Literature at Yale and Oxford. He came to faith in 1951 with some guidance from non other than C. S. Lewis.
Here’s his proposition: Christianity seemed probable, but there was a gap between the probably and what he could prove. This statement Vanauken identified his struggle between the probable and what ultimately, to him, became the less probable.
Have you gone through something similar to Vanauken in your struggle to find Christ or maybe to reject him?
There is a gap between the probably and the proved. How was I to cross it? If I were to stake my whole life on the risen Christ, I wanted proof, I wanted certainty. I wanted to see him eat a bit of fish. I wanted letters of fire across the sky. I got none of these. And I continued to hang about on the edge of the gap . . . . It was a question of whether I was to accept him–or reject. My God! There was a gap behind me as well! Perhaps the leap to acceptance was a horrifying gamble–but what of the leap to rejection? There might be no certainty that Christ was God–but, by God, there was no certainty that he was not. This was not to be borne. I could not reject Jesus. There was only one thing to do once I had seen the gap behind me. I turned away from it, and flung myself over the gap toward Jesus.