God Loves Ugly!

Hers is such a perfect picture of the masks we all wear. Christa’s transparency allows her’s to be exposed. What about yours? What masks are you wearing?

CBN Write Up:

Christa has traveled the world with renowned artists such as The Jonas Brothers, Michael W. Smith and Israel Houghton and worked with performers such as American Idol’s Jordin Sparks. While Christa’s singing, songwriting and violin abilities have attracted critical acclaim, she started her songwriting career during one of the most difficult times in her life. When Christa admitted herself in a treatment facility for eating disorders for 40 days, she picked up an old guitar. She started writing songs that helped her cope with the pain of her addictions including God Loves Ugly andWas I the Only One recorded by Jordin Sparks.

Her father was a pastor and Christa grew up hearing that God loved her. However, Christa’s earliest memories outside the home were sexual. She had been molested at the age of 3. “I don’t want this [interview] to be about molestation,” says Christa. The belief system that “I’m dirty and unlovable” is so powerful that if a person believes any of the lies, they will act according to what they believe. “You live according to your beliefs,” says Christa. “Your beliefs come from your experience and you have to experience the love of the Father.” Because she believed the lies that she was unloveable, Christa says she grew up acting accordingly. “I have an amazing family but I didn’t believe them. I grew up in church, playing music, singing in choir and performing Easter specials. The love of the Father is unconditional, but we can stiff arm that.” Christa struggled with self-hatred. “The eating disorder was always about power,” she says. While she couldn’t have control over her sexual abuse, her emotions or her appearance, she always had power over food. As a rebellious teen, Christa turned to alcohol and drugs.

In 1999, Christa was drained. Christa was working as a counselor at a sports camp in Missouri the summer before her senior year in college and was obsessed with food, struggling with anorexia and bulimia. Christa had reached the bottom. She looked in the mirror and hated the way she looked. Christa’s skin was a mess from the toxins; she was putting on weight. By the time summer was over, she was too embarrassed to go back to school. One day in August, Christa called her dad. She said, “Dad, I don’t think I have the guts to kill myself, but I need help. I’m afraid I just don’t have the strength to live anymore.” Her dad drove through the night to rescue her from school and she checked into a rehab facility. During her stay, Christa learned about her addictions and knew she would have to manage them for the rest of her life.

Christa knew of and read about the promises of God in the Bible that spoke of complete breakthrough and freedom. “I knew that if it was a promise then it was possible,” she says. Six years ago, Christa met Lucas. They were married in 2007 at The Call Nashville (after the ceremony, she jumped on stage and played with Michael W. Smith). Two months after the wedding, Lucas caught Christa binge eating. “I didn’t go into my marriage entirely free from my eating disorder,” she says. “There I was in the dirtiest, ugliest place.” She was in the kitchen and Lucas had a bag of chips in his hand. He said, “If you have to binge, I don’t want you to binge alone .” “This part of me was so unloveable,” says Christa. “Lucas saw me in that pig pen and crawled in there with me. The Father does that with us and never leaves. As we allow him to love us in those place, then everything shifts.” Her shame was broken and Christa was completely free. She believes total freedom exists this side of heaven. “1 John 4:19 says we love Him because He first loved us. It’s a relationship with a real being,” she says. There is a root to every behavior. “Change the belief system and the fruit will change,” says Christa. “The solution to every heart problem we have is the unconditional love of God.”

God Loves Ugly Book Excerpt

I had finally done it—I had reached the end of me. I
cleared my throat, attempting to steady the obvious shake
behind each word, but my usual strong voice had disintegrated into a hollow shell of itself.
There would be no faking it today. “Hey, Daddy,
it’s me.”
“Christa?” I felt his immediate fatherly concern.
“What’s wrong, honey? Are you okay?”
I hesitated for a brief moment, knowing that once the
words I feared most came out of my mouth, I could never,
ever take them back. They would uncover the one thing I
had spent my entire life working overtime to conceal.
I am a failure.
I let out a long, painful sigh. “Dad, I don’t think I
have the guts to kill myself, but, uh, I need help.” My voice
trailed off into nothing more than a whisper. “I’m afraid I
just don’t have the strength to live anymore.”

“God Loves Ugly is a song that changed my life and self-esteem, and now God Loves Ugly is a book that inspired my heart.”
Jordin Sparks
American Idol Winner


God Loves Ugly Lyrics

You said that I wasn’t pretty so I just believed you

And you said that I wasn’t special

so I lived that way
with critical gazes and brutal amazement

at how my reflection could be so imperfect

With all of my blemishes

how could somebody want me?

But God loves ugly

He doesn’t see the way I see

Oh, God takes ugly

and turns it into something that is beautiful

apparently I’m beautiful

cause you love me, ohh

I tried to clean up the outside

all shiny and new

Worked overtime to thin up and look right

but inside I knew

that deep in the bottom

were secrets I thought

I could try to ignore

Old ghosts in my corridors never get tired of haunting the past that’s in me
But God loves ugly

He doesn’t see the way I see

Oh, God takes ugly

and turns it into something that is beautiful

apparently I’m beautiful

cause you love me

Help me believe

why you love me

when I know you see

you see everything

Help me believe

why you love me

when I know you see

inside and you still say I’m beautiful

you’re telling me I’m beautiful

you’re screaming out: oh, so beautiful

and I’m finding out I’m beautiful

you’re making me so beautiful

and I can see I’m beautiful

cause you love me


3 thoughts on “God Loves Ugly!

  1. Pingback: Good News God | goodnewsgod.com

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