In me readings last year, I kept seeing “love and strength” together. I realized that I did not know what the author meant by “strength”, so I asked God “what is strength?” Though this is a secular example I believe it is God showing me that He is the provider of strength and I must look to Him for my strength. Here is my story as I wrote it down last year. Even though I had dealt with pride issue related to my boss, other heart issues needed to be dealt with as well.
To be honest, I have been treading water at work, not really engaged because I have not seen where I really fit. In fact, to be more honest, I was not sure that my skills were really needed where I am at. I’ve had many thoughts about making a move but seemingly have had not clear direction from God on that.
Lately, some really strange actions have been taken by others related to data I analyze and present. I realize I needed to talk to my boss about that issue and did, but I did not get a satisfactory answer.
At that time the Lord showed me why I am not more satisfied and fulfilled in my work. I’d planned to go to my boss and explain what needed to change to improve my work and the way others in my group work as a team. These changes would help me do a better job. Two days before I go (I had an appointment already), a memo comes out from the Chief CIO, restructuring the upper management. The same day I had a chat session with another CIO where she lays out the plan and direction of the Chief CIO. Two of the Chief’s principles are: Move IT closer to the customer and communicate, communicate, communicate. That’s the need that I wanted to get across to my boss. I’ve got to know what my customers need and communicate with them to find out what their needs are instead of sending information up a chain and back down to me where meaning gets lost in translation.
Because the Chief CIO is communicating exactly the same message that parallels my issues, I feel empowered to go to my boss and tell her what my issues are. That’s because the Chief CIO is communicating the things I feel are important. I felt new power to be saying the same things—because they are the right things for my situation and for our IT organization. That empowerment is “strength” in a professional/work context.
3 Weeks Later
There have been struggles. Part of the perceived strength was excitement and emotion. But, God is saying to me step up and through reliance on His power/His help I will be able to execute His plan. It may not be my plan nor the company’s plan, just His plan.
I was bad mouthing my two bosses to my wife before we prayed a few mornings later. As I finished I told her “Thanks for listening.” Then I said, “This will probably be one of my best days at work yet. That is just the way God does it. When I get down, He just blesses my soxs off.” We prayed and I went to work. As I walked through the parking deck, I thought to myself: “my two bosses really aren’t the root of my problem at work. Actually, there had been a problem that has been nagging me for 6 months–a problem that I just could not seems to solve.” I thought, “If I could solve that problem, much of my headaches about work would go away.”
I had planned to try something different on this day to solve my problem. I walked in and went to a different computer, other than the one at my desk. I loaded up my application and tried to connect to an Oracle 11G database with the Oracle 10 driver. It worked!! It worked for the first time in 6 months. I rushed over to my computer and attempted the same thing–it worked again!!! Why had it not worked before? Seems I had tried that Oracle 10 driver before. Maybe I had not tried the connection before or maybe the database was down when I tried it and I just did not think it worked. Anyway, problem solved!!! I can connect to the database now and I am happy. All the other issues at work do seem smaller now.
God allowed me to live with my problem unresolved until I was willing to realize He is my source. I look to Him no matter what I perceive my ability to be. He blessed my sox off that day.